SHINE
by Senashenta
Summary: He ignores his Calling, pushes aside his right to Choose, lives a life of solitude, longing and loneliness without his rightful Chosen. The others don't understand; they could NEVER understand. They all ask him why? Why? WhywhyWHY? But he can't sufficiently explain: he has his reasons and they are his own.


**Disclaimer:** Valdemar and concepts belong to Mercedes Lackey; lyrics are to _"Shine" _from Hellsing; this fic and original characters belong to their author.

**Notes:** Yay one-shot songfics! This one follows the Companion stallion named Reece and his Chosen. Reece's daughter, Fancy, also features a little. On a kind of random note, I've been saving this cover pic for the perfect fic for practically forever. lol.

**SHINE  
By Senashenta**

_-  
I never really feel quite right  
I don't know why, all I know is there's something wrong  
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive  
-_

The early spring air was cool, the breeze almost too cold. The chill in the air this time of year would never have bothered him in the past, but lately, more and more, Reece found himself wishing it was warmer. But then, he was getting on in years—he was certainly past his prime, though his pride would never have let him admit that out loud.

Now, as with most mornings, he contemplated moving from the Field and into the warmth of the stables. Maybe he could convince one of the stable hands to give him a good brushing, or even an apple—or, if he was really lucky, a sugar cube or two.

But as nice as those thoughts were, Reece would, as always, stay right where he was, hooves seemingly pinned to the ground beneath them.

_:Heyla, Reece.:_

The familiar Voice of his only daughter broke through the quiet, joined only by a handful of crickets and the occasional soft birdcall. The summer birds were finally beginning to return after their long winter absence.

_:Good morning, Fancy.: _Reece turned his head to regard the young mare as she paced to his side.

She was small and slim, graceful like her mother. Nothing like Reece physically, though she did take after him in many ways when it came to her personality—soft-spoken but not shy, friendly in a subdued manner. Fancy got along with everyone, just as her father did.

_:Are you waiting for her again?:_

_:Yes.:_ Reece turned his eyes back to the lane leading from Haven into the Collegia grounds. _:I am.:_

_-  
Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it  
I'm following every footstep  
Baby on your own you take a cautious step  
Do you wanna give it up?  
-_

Her first name, he knew, was Marley. He wasn't sure of her last name, though he certainly could have asked around and found out. Given the circumstances he chose not to.

Marley was a Blue. She attended classes at the Collegium because her parents paid for her to be there, not because she was Chosen, not because she was Gifted—and she _was_ Gifted, Reece knew. He could Feel the magic, somewhere deep inside her—somewhere deep inside _himself_.

_:Reece,:_ Fancy began, then changed her mind and started again, _:_Father_, why do you keep doing this to yourself? She belongs with you. She's your _Chosen_. Why are you denying her? Why are you ignoring your Call?:_

_:You know why, lovey.: _She had asked the same question countless times over the last few months, and each time he had the same response. This time was no different. His Voice was soft, weary and vaguely sad when he repeated his time-tested reply; _:I can't do that to her. She's too young. It would destroy her entire life.:_

_-  
But all I want is for you to shine  
Shine down on me  
Shine on this life that's burning out  
-_

At nearly forty-three years old, Reece was the oldest Companion in the Field besides the Grove Born. He was also the eldest Companion in Valdemar's recorded history to have still not Chosen.

Years ago, he had dreamed of his Call and his Choice. But after over three decades his dreams had become wistful little notions that only struck him every once in a while, instead of every day, every hour, every minute of his life. He stopped wishing, almost stopped believing entirely.

Things stayed the same, unpartnered, for years to come.

Certainly he wasn't alone. He was surrounded by friends and family. Tessin came along, and a short time later Fancy was born. He had a mate and a daughter, both of whom he loved. But despite all that, he was lonely—something inside his chest and mind felt hollow and empty.

With everything he had, something was still missing.

_-  
I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right  
And I act like I don't know why  
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for  
-_

It was late fall, five months ago—the first time he saw her.

She had been bundled up against the cold of the autumn morning—a heavy woolen skirt and thick tunic, all topped with a knitted sweater. Reece could even remember the colors—yellow and light blue—but not the blue of the unaffiliated Blues. It was her first day of classes at the Collegium, and she hadn't received her uniform yet.

Marley.

She was slight and thin with long, wavy brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. Her voice was beautiful, her laughter infectious. She was _perfect_—and the pulling, _yearning_ feeling that swelled between his eyes told him that she was his Chosen.

Despite the Call that pulsed in the back of his mind, though, Reece didn't move.

Instead he watched as Marley passed by, and mourned for something he wanted with all of his heart and soul but could never have.

_-  
You looked through me  
You really knew me  
Like no one has ever looked before  
Baby on your own you take a cautious step  
Do you wanna give it up?  
-_

Reece watched her every day that she had classes, rising early to the cold of the morning to stand by the edge of Companion's Field and wait for her. It was freezing, uncomfortable. Sometimes his joints, old and worn, ached, particularly on the days when a storm was coming.

But despite the pain, despite the temperatures, despite how tired he was, he never approached her—never Bespoke her.

The others asked him why. They didn't understand. They couldn't imagine any reason why he would continue to deny the Calling. It clearly wasn't because he was rejecting Marley, not that that had ever happened _before_ a Choosing. There was a difference between not moving on a Call and repudiation later on.

Reece tried to explain, he really did. But everything he said seemed to come across as some sort of excuse that his friends and family either didn't or _couldn't _believe.

The truth was that Marley was young—eleven, maybe twelve years old at the most—and Reece was simply _too old_.

_-  
But all I want is for you to shine  
Shine down on me  
Shine on this life that's burning out  
-_

Despite common thinking, Companions are just as mortal as their Heralds. They are born, they grow, they live and they die. While it _is _true that most Companions—and most Heralds—generally don't die of old age, it's certainly physically possible for both.

Companions have never liked being compared to horses, even considering their outward appearances, but they are very similar in a lot of ways, beyond just the tails and hooves.

Normal horses have a span of twenty-five to thirty years, and Companions only slightly more than that. Some have lived to forty-five—but none ever reached the age of fifty.

At forty-three, Reece was nearly to the end of his life.

If he Chose Marley… yes. They would he happy. But by the time she was finished her Heraldic training, he would be on death's doorstep. She was so young, too young. He would die and she would follow him through the Veil, as all Heralds did when their Companions died, before she even had a chance to go on Circuit—never mind finding a husband and having children, having a family.

He couldn't do that to her. He _wouldn't_.

_-  
I know, I know, girl you got something  
Shine  
(shine it on to me)  
Shine down on me  
(I wanna feel it)  
Shine on this life that's burning out  
-_

One day she didn't come walking up the road for classes.

Her absence confused him, as Marley had never missed a day of school before. But then, children got sick, they caught colds, sometimes they had to stay home for a day or two and rest. Surely that was it.

It was the first of many lonely days, waiting at the edge of the Field and hoping for her to appear from the crowd.

Over a month of missing her and Reece finally broke down. For the first time since he had first laid eyes on her, he Reached out with his mind to brush lightly, against her consciousness—testing, barely a tickle and certainly not enough for her to notice the intrusion.

There was a sort of grayness about her, and that was when Reece realized she _was_, in fact, ill.

Very ill.

_-  
Baby on your own you take a cautious step  
Do you wanna give it up?  
-_

They didn't have a name for the disease that was coursing through Marley's small body. It was new, unknown, something none of the Healers or herbalists had ever seen before, and it ravaged her from the inside, leaving her mottled, bruised and rotten.

Every day, every minute _hurt_, and the treatments burned and twisted inside her, fighting the illness the best they could. Her existence was shrouded in pain, getting worse every second. Misery was becoming the norm for Marley, and that made Reece's heart ache. He felt her pain as if it were his own, even though they weren't properly bonded.

And in the end both medicine and magic failed her.

Marley was given only short weeks to live.

_-  
But all I want is for you to shine  
Shine down on me  
(just show me something)  
Shine on this life that's burning out  
(you give me something that I never  
know)  
-_

There was only the sound of his hoof beats as Reece walked down the cobblestone streets of Haven. He didn't wear his formal tack, had refused the saddle, hackamore and bells, but had been persuaded to allow the stable hand to braid a handful of blue and silver ribbons into his mane and tail.

This was not and would never be a storybook Choosing.

Now, so close to Marley's death, his previous reservations, his excuses for not bonding to her, were nothing but moot. They didn't matter anymore. He could do this, and they would be happy together, at least for the short while Marley had left.

So he picked his way down from Companion's Field and through Haven, following the now-familiar, insistent pull in his mind until he reached a two-storey brick house. Standing outside the front gate—white and worn—he regarded the building for a long few moments.

It was warm and familiar. It felt like home.

_:You.:_

Reece whuffed out a breath, broadcasting for the few seconds it took to utter the single word.

It was only a matter of a minute before the front door swung inward and a perplexed looking woman peered out. She surveyed the front yard in confusion before her eyes lit on Reece—and she froze. Shock blanched her face out. She gripped hard at the doorframe with one hand.

"You're… here for…"

_:I am.: _He replied, and reached over the low-slung gate, lifting the latch and then pushing it inward to move into the yard. He paused at the front steps and met the startled woman's gaze. _:Please bring her.:_

_-  
Shine  
(it gonna kill me if you give something away)  
Shine yeaaah  
(I wanna know what's going in on your mind)  
-_

Marley was sick, exhausted and clearly hurting when her mother brought her to the door. It was the first time Reece had seen her since she had stopped attending classes, and he was shocked by how thin she was—like a rail, all skin and bones.

But her hair still waved and her eyes still shone, just as lovely as before.

Reece lifted his head, then leaned forward until their gazes could meet. Marley lifted a cold hand then, silently, to rest it against his nose. Brown eyes sparkled despite her illness.

After a long moment of quiet, finally her mother turned her attention toward him, worried. Her voice came out a whisper when she next spoke: "This is a death sentence, you know."

_:Yes,: _Reece replied, and closed his eyes as the Bond cemented between them. _:I know.:_

_-  
Shine on this life that's burning out.  
-_


End file.
